Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

Basically that is the point of the story Bad Dream.

It also has turned out to be a lesson I relearned in the last twelve months.

Bad Dream was not the story I set out to write as the followup after Snowball.  Bad Dream is the story that came out of sharing my gobbledy goop to a sharp critique group of published and soon to be published children and y.a. writers.  They picked up on this story within the struggling effort I shared while trying to find my writer’s voice, again.

That voice is within me, but my ability to use it consistently and for any desired length of time has been near nonexistent.  I don’t have control of it, and am insecure when it comes to using my ‘writing voice’ when it is active.

That is one of the reasons I have returned to running (well, almost running, walk/run) and participating in race events.  Trying to gain confidence by doing that which is scary to me.  For instance, running in public.  Running in a race leaves me with the same anxiety as sitting at a booth as a vender to make the public aware of my writing.

It is a pretty sweet solution.  For one, I get in better physical health, and confront a fear. That’s a win-win.

So now besides working on the artwork, I am working on working out.  Ah-Oh, I just made my schedule a little more complicated.  This is going to be a good thing, because I have all that time on the dreadmill (stole that from a running friend) to work out in my head how I want the illustrations to look, and a way to work out all the frustration from not being able to make it happen on paper like it looks in my head.

One fourth of it is done.  Accepting it wasn’t going to get done by the end of the month has been difficult. Making the choice to do the best I can, that was/is a no brainer.




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